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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655594">Bury Our Love In A Shallow Grave (The World Was Cruel To Us)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowygallifrey/pseuds/snowygallifrey'>snowygallifrey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester Learns Self-Love, Deans Heaven, Fix-It of Sorts, Happy Ending, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, One Shot, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, The ending we truly deserved</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:14:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,187</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowygallifrey/pseuds/snowygallifrey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel blushed a little. He liked the taste of Dean's mouth, the whisky blurred together with a wonderful life.<br/>— You, me, the stars above us and an endless stock of booze for eternity. What more could I ask for? </p><p> </p><p>Where Dean actually gets the Heaven he deserved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bury Our Love In A Shallow Grave (The World Was Cruel To Us)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I don't wanna wait 'til the sunshine fades</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And bury our love in a shallow grave</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause the world could be cruel to us or</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We could live for the dangerous so</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Let's start, let's start a riot</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Hard to sit still when your head's on fire"</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>                                     — Glitter &amp; Crimson, All Time Low. </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Before he opened his eyes, Dean felt warm. He knew where he was, it wasn't difficult to guess – he could still remember the last minutes before it all changed and the weight on his chest simply… disappeared. Is not that he <em> wanted </em> to think about it, it was just there, in the back of his head like a secondary thought he didn't need to pay attention to. </p><p>Heaven. He was in heaven. </p><p>God… Jack didn't let him down. Dean felt the urgent need to pray – not to ask him for something, but to say thank you. He didn't even know what was waiting for him the moment he let himself open his eyes, but the feeling itself was beautiful, and that only already made him better. Jack was his son, weird thing to say when the nephilim he met 3 years ago is literal God now, but that's what he was. </p><p>Dean opened his eyes. </p><p>He didn't recognize the place, it felt like a memory at the same time it felt like a whole new one being created right there. At first, he only saw trees and grass, the sun shining in the blue sky (the most beautiful Dean has ever seen, almost like a painting in a fancy museum he never got to see in person). The open road, he couldn't see where it led to but he didn't have to – he felt it in his chest. Right there, a few feets away from him, the Impala. He couldn't help but smile, the silliest it was, having the one object he could always count on in his heaven was just... perfect. Everything was perfect, expect for a few missing details.</p><p>Dean didn't want to think about it now. </p><p>That's how it worked: he never thought about it. He's in heaven now, and <em> man </em> that's a break he deserved from hunting things and saving people. </p><p>For as long as he was alive, Dean didn't think he deserved anything. Hell, for all he cared the only thing he deserved was getting punched and almost killed day after day. But something happened, or better, <em> someone </em> happened.</p><p>No, he wasn't going to think about that subject. It happened a week ago (maybe? Time passed differently in heaven but it probably didn't pass more than 5 minutes since his death). The fight against God, Jack turning into the most powerful being in the Universe, everyone coming back… everyone but <em> him </em>. One week, just one week. </p><p>This is Heaven, so maybe he should stop thinking about it.</p><p>— You just look like an idiot standing there, boy. </p><p>Dean turned fast, not noticing the presence sitting right beside him. The smile on his face got even bigger — there was Bobby, the <em> real </em> one, not the apocalypse world version, that was the same Bobby that treated him like a son, that saved him countless times. Damn, how he'd missed him. </p><p>— Which memory is this? —, Dean asked. He didn't quite remember ever being in that situation. He liked it. A quiet place, the road, Bobby… Peace, at last. </p><p>— This isn't a memory. Sit down, boy. —, Bobby smiled, that alone made Deans heart warmer. He sat next in the chair next to him, taking the beer that was offered, the cold in his hands familiar in a way he liked, — I'm proud of you Dean. </p><p>Dean looked at him confused. He wasn't going to cry, not now, but he felt like it. He waited too long to hear those words, — Why?</p><p>— Jack told me what happened, back on Earth. </p><p>— Jack? —, Dean asked. How did Bobby and Jack talk? There were so many questions in his head right now but it was peaceful, there was plenty of time to answer them all.</p><p>Bobby took another sip of the beer, — Yes, that kid of yours, he's been working on fixing Heaven. It's the reason I'm here, he's making sure we all stay together.</p><p>— He is? </p><p>Dean couldn't help but feel proud. Jack was a wonderful human being/ archangel/ god – yes, he was mad at the kid for a long time for things that he now realizes were out of his control. Jack turned out to be amazing. </p><p>— He is. Well, Cas helped him.</p><p>For a second, Dean thought he'd misheard things. Cas was dead, the empty took him right after he… No, he couldn't think about it or otherwise he would break apart. He couldn't do this now, he couldn't. But Bobby said his name, and it doesn't feel like a random mistake (is there a chance you can make mistakes in heaven? Well that's one thing Dean can figure out during the time he's got here). </p><p>— Cas? —, was the only thing coming out of his mouth. Castiel, his angel. Jack got him out of the empty, he managed to actually do it, — Cas is alive?</p><p>— I wouldn't say alive… Hell boy, that's too much for me to understand. Time's different here, you know? For me it's been less than an hour since a happy child came here telling me he was God <em> and </em> your son. Forgive the old man here for not getting some things right away. </p><p>Dean missed Bobby too damn much. He was his father, after all, even more than John. The best parent he could ever asked for, and fuck, he missed that crazy man cursing all over the place. But now, all he could think about was Cas. Castiel out of the empty. </p><p>— Is he coming here? —, Dean asked after a while, trying to understand what happened. Was Castiel alive? Or was he just there to help Jack fix the new Heaven? — Castiel, is he coming back here?</p><p>— Hell if I know. I gave up trying to understand you boys long ago. </p><p>Dean smiled. It felt weird for a moment, but something inside of him knew Cas would be there somewhere, sometime. It hurt less now, knowing his angel wasn't rotting in the empty alone forever, but the pain of how things were left between them didn't seem to leave. He didn't want to think about it, everytime he thought about what happened a week ago, it felt like it was happening all over again. His chest burned with the thought of being alone in that bunker closet, crying, knowing it wouldn't make a difference to be acting like that, but he couldn't stop. <em> Cas was gone </em>. </p><p>— Well, what' you doing now, boy? —, Bobby asked. His voice was soft, softer than Dean ever heard, and for a moment he let his mind wander into a universe where things were like this on Earth while they were alive, happiness, calmness, a chance to just sit around, drink beer and not worry about dying for the next year or so. Well, he has it  now, he should enjoy it.</p><p>His eyes drifted into the bar behind them, a blurry memory of the dream he was put on while being Michaels vessels flashing through his eyes. But he didn't have to worry. Everything would be just fine, — This place looks like it needs people to drink in it.</p><p>Dean stood up, walking into the bar, <em> his </em> bar.</p><hr/><p>— Took you long enough. </p><p>That's the first thing Dean says since he got into the bar, almost 30 minutes ago – or so, time was weird here. His back turned to the door while checking what kind of drinks they had there (which were basically every kind of drink there is out there). He couldn't see the person standing beside him, but damn, he could feel. </p><p>— Hello Dean. </p><p>That voice. Dean didn't have the strength to turn and face him, just hearing his voice was enough to let his eyes fill with tears. He may be a little sentimental, but he had the right – Castiel was standing there, in his heaven. Dean didn't even know how he should act, what he should say…</p><p>He turned.</p><p>Castiel looked the same, but at the same time, he was glowing. Dean couldn't help but notice how his eyes didn't carry that sadness, which were always lurking at the side of his intensive blue eyes. Apart from that, he looked like his normal amazing self. The same suit, the same trench coat Dean could recognize from miles away, the same smile. </p><p>Dean wanted to beat his face and kiss that beautiful smile off it. </p><p>— You really are bad at goodbyes, you know? —, Dean started, now knowing what to say. Castiel's blue eyes always throws him off his sentences, and now he's more nervous than he's ever been. </p><p>— Maybe it's because they never seem to stick. —, he answered, — Dean I… </p><p>Dean interrupted him, — You've done your whole love monologue, now it's my turn to say something without getting thrown into a wall, asshat. </p><p>A little ironic considering how he died… and <em> asshat </em>? He was truly going insane. Castiel bent his head a little, and Dean held himself trying not to run down him and just hug him tightly. He looked cute, he wished to confess in a weird way, like a baby puppy. Ok, that was also a weird thing to say. </p><p>— Did you really think you could just say those things and <em> freaking </em> die? You really thought you could just throw around words and leave forever? —, Dean knows he sounds a little angry or lunatic, but he couldn't help himself. Castiel was standing right in front of him, staring at him with those big puppy blue eyes, confused with the world. It reminded him of the first years they spent together, the first apocalypse, the countless times he laughed at how lost Castiel looked on Earth, — That's your idea of happiness? Dying? Not being answered? What the fuck man. </p><p>Castiel's smile had fazed, almost as if he didn't expect Dean to actually say something about what happened the other night, the night the empty took him for good, — Dean… </p><p>— Shut your mouth. —, he interrupted again. Castiel looked at him with an angry expression, in some levels the same face Dean recognized from their times on Earth, arguing over small things or just getting mad at each other  for no reason, — Cas, do you have any idea how bad it gets every time you leave me? How bad <em> I </em> was every fucking time you went and got yourself killed to protect me? You think, what, that I threw parties and forgot about it? That I was happy? It was freaking hell, man, all over again. And then… and then you think… you think I would be happy with that? You saying all those things at random, Death banging on the door and… </p><p>— I did it to protect you. —, Castiel said, voice deeper than the sea, — Every time, I did it so you could be safe, or at least safer than you were before. I had to-</p><p>— I was alive but at what cost if I didn’t have you? </p><p>They stared at each other for a while. Dean thought he could do it for days and never get tired of just looking at his face, he was dazzled by the angel, everything about him just seemed to leave the Winchester speechless. They both seemed to have lost the appropriate words for this specific scenario, lost on something they never thought could be discussed. </p><p>— Dean, you know I was always happy to bleed for you guys, especially you… —, Cas started, better at words than Dean could ever be, — I love you Dean, I’d do anything if it led to you being happy and…</p><p>Dean groaned, — How could I be happy without you!?</p><p>— It’s not like a mattered that much! —, he yelled in anger. Dean frowned, still trying to understand what he said, — It was always about you and Sam, I was just… there. I served my purpose, I saved you, that’s what I always did. </p><p>— I swear, if you ever talk this much crap again… —, Dean couldn’t even answer it right, — Of course you mattered, fuck, you were above everything. I… How could you even think that? You’re family man, I care about you, Sam cares about you, we all cared. Don’t ever think you were less than Sam or… Don’t! </p><p>A ghost of a smile ran through Castiel's face. For a moment, it felt like they were back at the bunker, like the last time they fought and Cas let. Dean hated the thought of that awful night. </p><p>— I had a whole speech prepared, you know. </p><p>Cas stared at him confused, — About what?</p><p>— About us. About that night, when you… when the empty took you. You said those things and I just couldn’t, I couldn’t say it back because I just didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how you could be happy just saying that, for all I knew angels couldn’t even feel <em> love </em>. So I just… you were there and then you weren’t and I was alone again trying to understand what it all meant, what that monologue really was about. —, Dean started, his eyes drifted to his own hands while talking, coming back to Castiel's eyes.</p><p>— That’s the speech?</p><p>Dean laughed. Cas was smiling, and he realized this was home after all, heaven, with his miracle angel, — No man, the speech was better but you ruined it with the weird angst. The speech was me saying how much I love you and how I messed everything up and how you can have me, you could’ve had me a long time ago. </p><p>— Dean…</p><p>— Let me finish. —, he smiled. It sounded weird, actually saying that out loud, it was even weirder knowing they were both in heaven right now, his perfect ending, — Cas, I love you. I do. I didn’t say it before but I’m saying it now and… I love you man, I loved you through it all: the apocalypses, the mark, the angels, the darkness. It hurts to know you could ever think I never loved you when that’s the only thing I could ever do that wasn’t controlled by Chuck. I should’ve said it that night, or maybe a decade ago when I wasn’t dead and we could try to have a happy ending. But I’m saying it now and that’s what matters. You changed me too, you know? Besides the obvious thing where I only lived that long because you saved me, there's the fact I would never be like this if you weren't there. You helped me grow, you showed me free will countless times, you… You were the whole reason I even had faith maybe we could actually win against God. You made me a better person, you made me believe in myself, you made me think I could actually be someone worth to be saved, you made me see myself outside the assassin they played me out to be… Castiel, I love you.</p><p>Castiel smiled softly, trying to stop the urge of just crying right there, — We should have said something sooner. </p><p>— We really should. —, Dean laughed, — I think the never ending apocalypse also didn't help. </p><p>— At least it's over now… </p><p>Dean smiled brightly, it was over. The fights, the hunting, the monsters and gods and fights, it was all over now. He could rest. </p><p>— What do we do now? —, he asked finally. Castiel approached him slowly, almost as if he was afraid he was doing it all wrong. And then he stopped, not near but not far away from where Dean was, close enough so that the Winchester could feel his heart beating faster (why does his heart still beat if he's dead? One of the things he can't understand about heaven), — Where are you going?</p><p>— I'm not leaving you ever again. </p><p>Dean finally found the strength to move again, closing the space between their bodies. It didn't feel weird, it felt like they belonged like this, together. <em> Soulmates. </em>Is that a thing? Dean thought for a few seconds. </p><p>He placed his hands on Castiel's face, feeling the warmth from his body. He liked it, staring at his eyes, it was like seeing his whole soul. For a moment, memories from their years on Earth flashed in his mind, like a reminder of all the times he could have done this, said something, but was too afraid to actually act on what he was feeling. They were both smiling peacefully for once, — You better not.</p><p>Their lips met each other. It was impossible to describe what he was feeling – it felt like being finally alive. Castiel's lips were soft and tasted like home, if it was even possible, it tasted like getting what they deserved for once. </p><p>— I waited too long for this. —, Dean whispered between the kisses. He couldn't help but feel tremendous joy, just that, happiness at its finest. Castiel smiled and the whole place seemed to glow together, maybe it actually did, — Way too long.</p><p>— You know… I can stay here if you want me to. </p><p>Dean broke the kiss again, staring at his face almost as if he was looking for a sign that Cas was joking, — How?</p><p>— Hm, when Jack got me out of the empty, we had to make a deal, kind of… </p><p>Dean groaned, — I don't like deals. </p><p>— Basically, —, Castiel glared at him angry for the interruption, — Since humans can't be in the Empty, that was the only way Jack found to take me out of there. I burned out all my grace and Jack put the empty back to sleep, at last. So I'm kind of…</p><p>— Human. </p><p>— Yes. —, he continued, — I can stay here with you, if you want. I'm human but, for what Jack explained, I'm not alive. They just made a trade for my soul. </p><p>Dean kissed him one more time, — Can I still call you angel?</p><p>— If you want to. —, Castiel blushed a little. He liked the taste of Dean's mouth, the whisky blurred together with a wonderful life. </p><p>— You, me, the stars above us and an endless stock of booze for eternity. What more could I ask for? </p><p>Castiel smiled even more, if that was possible, — Sam once told me you wanted to be a dancer.</p><p>Dean let out a loud laugh, — I didn't want to be a dancer, I said I <em> could </em> be a great dancer. There's a difference. </p><p>— You know, I never danced. </p><p>They smiled. Dean took his hand carefully, kissing it softly. A slow song started to play in the radio of the bar, it was heaven, after all, they could do whatever they wanted, — May I have this dance, Cas?</p><p>They danced until they couldn't stop laughing, never even caring about how many times Cas stepped on his toe or they fell down. For once, Dean Winchester was finally happy. </p><p>And they kissed, and they kissed again, and again and again. Years could've passed on Earth, Dean didn't care. He finally had his angel by his side, he would never let go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! Hope you enjoyed reading this, I'm sorry for the mistakes since english isn't my first language! If you're struggling with the bad ending we got, just know Dean and Cas are now together in Heaven being happy, I don't care what Dabb thinks &lt;3</p><p>Have a wonderfull week. Follow me on Tumblr (@lwthaal) or Twitter (@snowygallifrey) if you want more Destiel content</p></blockquote></div></div>
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